


Brothers

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-04-10
Updated: 2000-04-10
Packaged: 2018-11-10 07:38:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11122752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Fraser meets Kowalski's brother and learns more about his partner.





	Brothers

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

It had been a terrible week for Constable Benton Fraser

Due South: Alliance

 

 

 

BROTHERS 

 By: Winston

It had been a terrible week for Constable Benton Fraser. Duties at the Consulate had allowed him only minimal time with his partner Ray Kowalski, and his partner was paying for it. Ray was very near wrapping up a complex case involving hijacked machine parts that had resulted in the death of one fence and the severe beating of a night watchman. As always when the trail got hot and the slender blond got to heavily involved in a case his own physical well being was the furthest thing from his mind. Fraser was painfully aware that Ray had been going in to work early, staying late, and not eating as he should, if at all.

Acting as the voice of reason had become one of the Mountie's most important roles in the partnership. When his hardheaded friend became more focused on a case than was healthy, it had become Fraser's place to remind Ray that he needed to take care of himself. The Mountie had become a master at handling his temperamental partner. His first attempt would involve reasoning with his friend, but he had also learned the value of trickery. If trickery didn't work Fraser would be forced to resort to plain old anger and the threat of involving Lieutenant Welsh. No matter what it took, Fraser could usually get the goal accomplished, but this week and its forced separation had allowed Ray to very nearly run himself into the ground.

It was after 8:00 PM on Friday night before Fraser made his appearance at the 2-7. Ray had called him earlier and told him that they had finally made an arrest in the hijacking case. As Benton entered the squadroom he noticed Lieutenant Welsh leaning against the entrance to the hall which led to the interrogation rooms. The older man straightened as Fraser stepped up to join him. Welsh had been looking down the hall where Ray Kowalski and an older woman were engaged in an intent conversation. The woman had her hand resting on Ray's forearm as his hand cupped her elbow. Ray was hunched down slightly, listening attentively to what the woman had to say.

"Ah Constable. It's nice of you to join us." Welsh studied Fraser closely before returning his attention to the scene down the hall. "You have been missed."

Fraser instantly understood the meaning behind the remark. He realized that Welsh was as concerned about his partner's atrocious work habits as was the Mountie. The Lieutenant had yet to learn though all the subtle moves in handling the often over-focused Detective. 

"Yes Sir. And I must apologize for my absence, but I assure you Leftenant that next week should be a more normal week at the Consulate." Fraser straightened his stance as he continued. "And I am here now, Sir."

Welsh shot the Mountie a quick glance and a conspiratorial smile. "Upon reflection Constable, I believe I find that a good thing. You know the routine. Feed him. Make him get some rest, and tell him I don't want to see his skinny ass in here until Monday." As Welsh turned back towards his office he added. "Dumb Polack ain't got a clue to how really good he is."

"Indeed." Fraser smiled proudly at the Lieutenant's retreating back and then returned his attention to his partner.

As he watched, the older woman stretched up on her tiptoes, gave Ray a quick peck on the cheek, and a loose hug, before she turned to leave. Ray stood, his arms folded across his chest and watched the woman until she turned the corner at the end of the hall. He then spun around and headed back for the squadroom. When he noticed Fraser waiting for him he hunched his shoulders and danced down the hall throwing punches into the air. The smile that lit his face seemed to brighten the entire building. 

When Ray reached his partner he continued to throw light punches into the ramrod straight Mountie, peppering him with a myriad of quick combinations to the shoulder and stomach. Fraser smiled indulgently knowing full well that when this latest adrenaline rush was over his slender partner would be totally spent.

"Am I to assume Ray, my friend, that you are having an above average day?"

Ray instantly straightened and raising both hands pinched Fraser's cheeks and pulled the Mountie towards him until they were standing literally nose to nose. "Dare ya go again wit da obvious Benton Buddy." 

Although such animated displays of emotion were foreign to the stoic Constable Fraser he had come to not only expect them from his partner, but to relish the sometimes rough but always playful physical contact. His life had certainly changed since meeting the 'new' Ray Vecchio.

"And the lady you were talking to in the hall?" Fraser gave Ray his most sincere expression as he continued. "Is she your latest attempt to at last find a date for the Crystal Ball Room?" 

"Hardy Ha Ha Ha.... My partner da comedian." Ray rubbed his hand through his spiky blond hair and sobered slightly. "Na. Dat was the night watchman's wife. Dey really worked da poor guy over, but she said he was gonna be okay. She just stopped by ta let me know, and ta...well...she found out we got da guy. Her husband used ta be a cop and she kinda knew the routine. I think she's still got some inside connection type thingy, cause she got here less dan an hour after we brought the guy in."

"So she came here to thank you?" Fraser couldn't help but smile at his partner's sudden discomfort. It was never easy for Ray to accept the truth that he was in fact, a very good police officer, and a very caring person as well. Without knowing all the facts, Fraser was sure that at some time during the investigation Ray had dealings with the older woman that had left her sure of the young Detective's compassionate understanding. It wasn't the first time that someone who had been thrown into the seriously confusing situation of a police investigation had later sought out his partner to thank him for his help and gentle handling of their problem. Although Fraser knew that Ray appreciated the thanks, it always embarrassed him that people were thanking him for just doing what he considered his 'job'.

"Ya well...She was pretty upset da other day, and ...I just"... When Ray looked up and noticed the smile on his partner's face he dropped his embarrassed gaze to the floor and smiled shyly. "Ya she was here ta thank me." 

The partners turned and headed for Ray's desk. The thin blond dropped heavily into his chair and stretched to the point that Fraser was sure he heard several bones pop. As his friend returned to his normal relaxed posture the Mountie could tell that the efforts of the week were at last catching up to his friend. Before Benton could make the normal suggestion of food and sleep, Ray's phone rang, startling them both. 

"Vecchio."....

"Ya Mum...I know it's late, but it was a hot case an...."

"Of course I am..." Fraser watched his partner as he continued his conversation with his mother. He didn't fail to notice when Ray slowly crossed his fingers. "No really Mum, I been eatin...I even...." Fraser shot his partner a scathing glance and wasn't surprised when Ray turned away and lowered his voice. "Sure Mum...You know I do."

Benton didn't miss his partner's instant tension. "Well I guess I can....If you and Dad can't I guess so...8:00 am...flight 216.... Ya Mum...love you too....Bye." 

Fraser watched in concern as Ray slumped in his chair and ran his hand over his tired eyes.

"Is there a problem Ray?" Fraser couldn't pass up a chance to get one little dig in on his partner. "Besides the fact that you find it necessary to cross your fingers when you talk to your Mother that is."

"You are a funny man Fraser...a real barrel of laughs...and yes there is a problem...Well not really a problem so much...as a...well...I guess it's kind of a problem...but it ain't one ..."

"Ray."

"a dem big problems ...

"Ray."

"It's more like one a dem little type problems..."

"Ray."

"You know...Da kind that ya really don't...

"Ray."

"Wanna deal wit, but ya really ain't got no..."

"RAY!!!"

"What?!...Jezze Fraser I ain't deaf ya know." Fraser had to bite back the smile at his partner's normal reaction. "What ya yellin' for anyways?"

"I did not yell Ray. I merely raised my voice to a sufficient level to drown out your nervous blithering and try to gain your attention." 

"Well ya got my attention!...And it wasn't 'nervous blitherin' it was just...ah...." Fraser could no longer hide the slight smile that had been threatening to appear for the last several minutes. "You know...more like..ah...slightly agitated...ah...but completely understandable...ah...ramblin'. Which is no wheres near to a nervous blitherin' type thingy." 

"I see." Fraser watched in amusement as Ray valiantly tried to hide his own growing smile. "Well Ray, my friend, I am glad that you have made clear the difference between a nervous blither and a slightly agitated ramble. It is something that I will file away for future reference, as I am sure that as long as we are in association, it will be a terminological knowledge which will prove a necessity." 

"'Terminological knowledge'...Geeze...How did I get so lucky?" Ray rocked forward in his chair and placing his elbows on his knees began to absently rub his temples. Fraser was instantly alert.

"What _is_ the problem Ray? Nothing to serious I hope." 

"Na, Frase...Nothin' serious." Ray finally looked up and gave his partner a tired smile. "I just gotta pick my brother and his family up at the airport in da morning." A hopeful glint suddenly appeared in the blonde's bloodshot blue eyes. "If you ain't busy in da mornin'...and you would want ta come along...dat would be great....If...You know...It ain't an inconvenience...'cause..a...you've never met my brother...and he really _is_ a great guy." 

"It would be an honor Ray." 

Truth be told, Benton didn't really feel it would be his place to interfere in this Kowalski family moment, but his main interest now was in bringing some calm to his obviously agitated partner. Ray had never really spoken about his brother. The Mountie had always assumed that there was some animosity between the Kowalski brothers. The only thing that he knew about James Marlon Kowalski was that he was a successful business consultant that had lived in Austin, Texas since graduating from Northwestern University. Ray had never said anything against his brother, but the lack of contact, and the absence of any friendly discussion about him, had allowed the Mountie to come to a conclusion that may be in error. Ray had just told him what a great guy he was, and the slender blond wouldn't lie about a thing like that.

"I hope I am not overstepping our friendship Ray, but if I may ask....What I mean to say is...well...If I may be so bold..." Fraser quickly gave his neck a quick snap. He didn't want to anger his partner, and he was suddenly afraid that this may be an area of conversation that would do just that. His fear was relieved when he noticed the amused gleam in Ray's eyes.

"Just ask Frase...geeze...I don't want ya ta pop a blood vessel or anything." Ray lounged back in his chair and looked at the blushing Mountie expectantly. "We're partners...right?...Friends?...You can ask me anything...you know that." At Benton's obvious show of relief Ray couldn't help but add with a smirk. "Whether I answer you or not is anodder story...But you can always ask...Ok?" 

"Thank you kindly, Ray." Fraser carefully settled himself in his normal seat and continued. "I couldn't help but notice your obvious lack of enthusiasm at your mother's request to be the one to meet your brother's plane...And considering your reluctance to ever talk about your brother...Well..I guess...What I want to ask is...Ray, is there a problem between you and your brother?"

Ray looked up and gave Fraser a small sad smile. "Ya. You could say dat Frase....Same problem I got wit a lot a people. I screwed up...screwed up big time...Kinda cost me big time too...But hey you know what an ass I can be...."

"You are not an 'ass', Ray." Fraser had to fight down the frustration that his partner's near constant self-recriminations always caused him. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

As the two friends slowly made their way out of the station and settled into the GTO Ray began his story.

"It happened when I was in high school...sophomore...I think. James had just graduated from Northwestern and was getting' ready ta leave for Texas. His wife was from dere...they met in College and decided ta make a home in Austin...She's a great gal...real sweetheart. Anyways I got real shitty wit him...said some bad... really mean things to him. He didn't deserve it..hell he never did anything wrong...fact is he always treated me real good...You know all the regular big brother stuff...I just...I don't know. I was just really pissed at a lot of stuff and I guess I took it out on him."

"That is a difficult age Ray. I'm sure your brother understands that." Fraser studied his partner carefully. He was saddened to hear Ray's story, but secretly gratified that his friend had at last gained the confidence in their friendship to feel comfortable enough to share such an obviously painful memory.

"Ya...That's da same thing James said." Ray sat behind the wheel of the GTO and stared absently out the window. He as yet had made no effort to start the car. "I finally did wise up...but shit...took me almost four years. Right after I quit college...Just before I went into the academy, I made a quick trip down ta Austin....beautiful place....Anyways I went down dare and apologized...Told him how wrong I'd been and dat I was real sorry for hurtin' him...but hell...four years...It just ain't ever been da same...Like I said...Cost me big time...but...You know me?...If dare's any way ta screw up a good thing I'm da guy who can find it."

"Ray!" Fraser shot his partner a withering glance, but Ray didn't even notice. "When was the last time you saw your brother?"

Ray gave a wistful smile as he answered. "Just before I took this gig. He has ta come to Chicago at least twice a year. His...uh...whadda ya call it?...Um...Corporate Headquarters thingy is down in the Loop. Can't always swing it, but we try and get together for dinner or something. Beth comes with him sometimes, and the last two times he was in town he brought Matt too." Fraser was surprised to see the bright smile that let his partner's face at the memory. "The last time was really neat. James and Beth went out on the town and I got ta take care of Matt 'till they got back. We stayed at their Hotel...room service...movies...Pretty cool. He's a neat kid. I... uh...I've never seen Abby....But Mum keeps me filled in and Beth always sends pictures. Not much of an Uncle huh?...Kid will be three this year and I ain't ever seen her."

"I'm sure they understand Ray." The Mountie had hated to see the smile disappear. "It sounds like your brother forgave you for the argument you had."

"Sure he did...Even said dare wasn't anything ta forgive...dat it wasn't my fault..." Ray gave a small snorting laugh as he finished. "Meant it when I told ya what a great guy he is...You'll get ta see for yourself tomorrow." 

 

 

Fraser awoke early, as usual. Ray had convinced the Mountie to spend the night at his apartment. The slender blond had figured the benefits of a quick trip to the Consulate last night, to pick up Dief and some clothes, far out-weighed the need to get up an hour earlier to do it in the morning. Normal Kowalski logic. 

The unusual feature of the morning for Fraser was the realization that Ray was already up and in the bathroom. On any other occasion, when the Mountie stayed over, he had to almost pry Ray and Dief both out of bed. Although unusual it really wasn't much of a surprise. Ray had experienced a very restless night. Although obviously exhausted it had seemed to take Ray forever to unwind enough to even attempt to sleep. Fraser had finally insisted that he give it a try, and although Ray had fallen asleep almost instantly, it had been a fitful rest at best. Fraser could remember his partner making at least two trips to the bathroom and another to the kitchen for an aspirin. 

Fraser had just gotten a pot of coffee started when Ray came hustling out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his skinny hips.

"Your turn, Benton buddy...Pitter patter..." The rest of the now famous line was lost as the bedroom door shut behind him.

Fraser gave Dief a bemused smile, made his way to the bedroom door and knocked lightly. "Ray, are you aware that it is only 5:00."

There was a moment of silence before the door opened. Ray stood facing his friend. One hand holding the towel at his waist the other holding his alarm clock. "Ah...Sorry buddy....Thought it was 6:00...Guess we won't be late.. huh?" 

"No Ray, we definitely won't be late." Fraser shook his head at his slightly embarrassed partner. "As a matter of fact my friend I think we even have the time to set down and calmly partake of some fresh brewed coffee and some breakfast. You didn't eat much last night and _I_ at least feel a certain responsibility to help you conform to the wishes of your Mother. It is indeed a sad state of affairs, Ray, when a grown man is reduced to the level of crossing his fingers while misrepresenting certain facts to the one woman to who he owes his very life." 

Ray simply smiled, rolled his eyes and slammed the door in the Mountie's face.

Fraser couldn't stifle a chuckle at the muffled grumbling coming from behind the door. His keen hearing picked up at least one word clearly; freak. It was more than obvious that Ray was very nervous about seeing his brother again. Benton was determined to try and make the meeting go as smooth as possible. 

 

 

 

 

It was fifteen minutes before Ray's brother's plane was due to land and Ray was on his twenty-sixth circuit of the debarkation area. Fraser sat quietly against the wall calmly watching the various characters that surrounded them, and counting Ray's laps. In the last half-hour Fraser had learned a lot about James Kowalski's family. Every sixth or seventh lap, Ray would stop for a moment and tell Fraser about one or the other family member. He had already talked about James' wife, Beth. The second description was of the two year old daughter, Abby, and the last stop included more information on James himself. Fraser straightened in anticipation as he noticed Ray's slight change of course, which indicated another planned stop. 

"Just wait 'till you meet Matt. He is a true character, a pure cowboy. His dad may be from Illinois, but Matt is all Texas. Eight years old, goin' on thirty-five...cool little dude, Frase. You'll like him." With that Ray was off on lap twenty-seven. At this rate Fraser figured his partner could get in at least ten more laps, and they might get as far into the Kowalski family tree as great grandparents. 

 

 

The passengers were finally making their way down the ramp. Ray was straightening his jacket for the fifth time. Fraser hadn't been all that surprised with the care his partner had exhibited in getting dressed for this meeting. Ray had chosen a nice button shirt, well ironed, and had even tucked it neatly into his best pair of jeans. The light sports jacket that he had then slipped over it was one of his better ones, showing a little less wear than some of the more comfortable ones that he usually picked. Fraser was sure that Ray had even taken a swipe at his black boots with a damp rag, for they looked as near to shiny as Fraser had ever seen them. 

"There they are Frase." Ray self-consciously raised his hand for a small wave. Fraser, noticing the small family group, gave them a smile and a nod, and then returned his attention to his partner.

"Ah yes. Just relax, Ray...Everything will be fine." The slender blond shot the Mountie a thankful smile and stepped forward to greet his brother. 

While Ray was saying his hellos Fraser had an opportunity to study the new arrivals. Ray's brother was built more like their dad. He was much shorter than Ray and although not fat, he was much stockier. Fraser couldn't help but notice though that the blue eyes and infectious smile marked the two men as brothers. James' wife Beth was taller than her husband and sported short brown hair and flashing dark eyes. The two year old nestled on her hip had light brown hair and big dimples. It was eight year old Matt though who caught the Mountie's attention. The little fellow had on a sharply creased pair of Wrangler jeans, a pearl button western shirt, a cowboy hat and roper boots. Fraser couldn't contain his smile at the very serious manly handshake that Ray received from his young nephew.

Ray motioned Fraser forward and nervously went through the introductions. When Matt was introduced Fraser dropped to one knee before the young cowboy and received a good solid handshake himself.

Benton pointed towards the silver buckle that the young man sported. "That is a very nice buckle Matt. M.R.K. is that your initials?" 

"Yes Sir. Matthew Raymond Kowalski; named after my Uncle Ray, Sir, and damn proud of it."

Beth shot her young son a stern look. "Matthew Raymond you watch your mouth!" 

Matt turned quickly towards his mother. "Yes ma'am...I'll be more careful."

Fraser was surprised at the quick polite response, but even more surprise when Matt turned back toward him and flashed the same ornery wink and wicked little grin that Fraser had seen from his partner a hundred times. 

Matt took a hard look at Fraser's Stetson. "What kinda hat ya got there Mister?"

"Ah....The hat?" Benton glanced quickly towards his smiling partner before he replied. "It is a Stetson...And Your?"

"Oh..Well...Stetsons are good hats too, but mine's a Resistol, Sir; tougher hat for the money...But a Stetson will do in a pinch."

Fraser had to fight to keep from chuckling at the obvious seriousness that the young fellow felt towards a man's choice in hats. Ray had been correct in his description of his nephew; eight going on thirty-five.

 

Fraser was doing as much as he could, but Ray was struggling. He was so nervous that he had already stumbled over a suitcase, and had seemed to be in a constant struggle to find the right words for what he wanted to say. For the Mountie the only thing good about the situation was James' and Beth's obvious attempts to put Ray at ease. It was almost a relief when the cop and the cowboy left Fraser and the rest of the family waiting at the curb with the luggage while they went after the GTO. 

"You will have to forgive Ray." Fraser carefully rubbed his thumb along his brow. "He just wrapped up a very trying case last night and I am afraid that he hasn't been getting the rest that he should. That always seems to put him slightly on edge."

James gave Fraser a knowing smile. "I'm afraid that little brother is always on edge when I'm around, Ben. Can't blame him though...believe me it isn't his fault."

Beth gently took her husband's arm. "It isn't your fault either Jimmy." 

The Mountie's curiosity was instantly aroused. That wasn't the first time that he had heard that phrase used in regards to the relationship between the Kowalski brothers, but before any further conversation could take place the GTO came easing up to the curb. 

 

 

The ride to Skokie was probably one of the longest Ray could remember. He graced his partner with a thankful smile when the Mountie easily took over the conversation and relieved some of the pressure. Fraser filled James' family in on the history of his arrival in Chicago and the forming of the unlikely partnership he shared with Ray. It was obvious to both James and Beth that there was a true friendship between the two, and it instantly endeared the Mountie to the couple. The entire situation had Benton puzzled. It was clear that James and Beth both cared deeply for Ray, and although he was sure that Ray felt the same about his brother, Fraser could almost feel the tension vibrating off his partner's slender frame.

 

As the GTO eased to a stop in front of the elder Kowalski's motor home Ray's mom came hustling to the curb to greet them. The yard by the RV was set up with several lawn chairs a picnic table, grill, and several small tables placed between the chairs. It gave every appearance of a very spacious living room.

Damian soon joined the group at the curb and greeted each one with a warm hug. Ray and Fraser busied themselves unloading the luggage. Benton noticed the wistful expression on Ray's face whenever he would glance over at the gathering. It saddened the Mountie to realize how much of an outsider Ray felt when in the presence of his own family. Benton Fraser had often envied the strong familial ties of the Vecchio's. It always made him wish that he had a family of his own to belong to as well. Watching the scene before him now though pointed out the fact that just having a family didn't guarantee the feeling of belonging. He suddenly didn't know which would be worse. In some ways he felt that he was the lucky one. At least he had the Vecchio's. 

It wasn't long before some of the Mountie's questions began to be answered. As the group moved further into the yard Damian draped his arm over the shoulders of his eldest son and began the normal inquiries of any father who hadn't seen his son in a while. Questions about his job, his income, his prospects, and of course his family. As James answered each question Damian would shoot a meaningful glance towards his younger son. It was a glance that clearly showed Damian's pride in his college-educated son, but also seemed to reflect his disappointment that Ray hadn't accomplished the same things. With each glance Ray seemed to almost flinch and inch ever closer back towards the GTO. Benton fought down the anger that was beginning to rise in his chest. Disengaging himself from the conversation between the women he began to make his way to his partner's side. 

James, whose attention had been divided between his father, the conversation between his wife and his mother, and trying to keep an eye on the children suddenly noticed Damian's actions. He gave his father a stern look and instantly changed the course of the conversation. But even as Damian dropped his embarrassed gaze to the ground, there was no denying the fact that the damage had already been done.

Ray cleared his throat and with a wave of his hand was able to gain his Mother's attention.

"Uh..Mum?" Barbara looked up with a warm smile on her face. "Me and Frase better get goin'....We left Dief at the apartment and I don't want ta leave him alone to long."

Upon noticing the look on Ray's face and Damian's embarrassment she was instantly aware of what was going on. 

"Oh Stanley. Honey, you just got here." Barbara stepped to her son's side and laid her hand on his arm. "Please stay awhile."

"I'm afraid it's my fault Mrs. Kowalski." The instinct to protect his partner was running strong in the Mountie. "I should have left Diefenbaker with Constable Turnball this morning, but I'm afraid Ray may have a point."

Ray gave his partner a thankful smile. He knew that his actions were probably hurting his mother, but the presence of the Grandkids would soon take care of that. Right now all he really wanted was to just get away from here. 

Barbara studied her youngest carefully and then sadly nodded. "Alright...But you boys will come for the cookout tomorrow, won't you? And please bring Dief along. I'm sure that he and Matt will enjoy the park."

The thin blond again looked towards his partner.

"I'm sure that Dief would enjoy a day in the park, Mrs. Kowalski."

Ray leaned over and placed a quick peck on his Mother's cheek. "See ya tomorrow Mum." He then turned, gave a small wave towards the others and made for the car. 

James suddenly broke away from the family group and hurried to his brother's side.

"Hey little brother...Hold on a minute." As he approached he looked towards Fraser with a strangely pleading expression on his face. "I gotta ask a favor Ray."

After a quick smile Ray dropped his gaze to the ground, and with his hands buried in the pocket of his jacket began to scuff the toe of his boot along the sidewalk. 

James again shot a meaningful glance towards his brother's friend before he continued. "You know it's going to get awfully crowded here tonight, and I was just wondering....Well...Would you care if me an Matt came over later?" Ray jerked his head up to meet his brother's hopeful gaze. The thin blonde's expression was a mixture of fear and amazement. "You know...Boy's night out? I can handle only so much talk about kids and cooking. I know your place isn't big, but Matt and I can camp on the floor. You know...Maybe we can find a good ball game on the tube, eat some popcorn? Whatta ya say? Fraser could join us...finish telling us about you guy's adventures in law enforcement."

Fraser suddenly understood what James was trying to do. When Ray turned his questioning glance towards his partner the Mountie smiled warmly. "I think that is a very good idea. I have nothing to do this evening, and I'm sure that we can find a good ball game, or we can even rent a movie or two."

Benton could sense Ray's rising panic. He knew how important the next few minutes would be in the relationship between these two men, but it seemed he wasn't the only one. Matt had quietly stepped to his Uncle's side and carefully slipped his small hand into Ray's. Matt looked up into Ray's blue eyes, gave him a reassuring smile, but said nothing. When Ray returned his attention to his partner Fraser could see that the fear and indecision was still evident. He hoped a little humor would help relieve the obvious tension.

"Don't worry Ray, my friend. We have the rest of the day to at least try and bring some kind of order to your apartment." Ray's eyes darted back towards his brother, a small, embarrassed smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

The moment seemed to drag, but at last Ray raised his eyes to meet of his brother's. "Ya...Sure...I guess....Ya. That would be great...greatness."

James gave Fraser a thankful smile. Both men releasing a breath that they didn't even realize that they had been holding. "Good....Good. We'll see you guys tonight. Say...about 6:00? "

 

 

 

By the time that Matt and James arrived, Ray's apartment was in tip-top shape. The same thing could not be said for Ray Kowalski. He was a nervous wreck. He was torn between the amazing idea that his big brother wanted to spend his first night back in Chicago with him, and the fear that he would somehow screw it up. 

As it turned out things went very well. It had taken Ray almost an hour to settle down to the point where he could actually set still enough to even watch the TV, but by 10:00 the exhaustion from his heavy work schedule and the stress of the meeting with his brother had taken it's toll. Ray sat at one end of the couch his head propped in his hand. Matt had been asleep for awhile, his head on a pillow on his Uncle's lap. Fraser and James both watched with amusement as Ray valiantly fought his losing battle against sleep. At last the soft snoring coming from Ray's gapping mouth indicated that sleep had finally won.

"Well Ben, do you think we should give those two the bed?"

"I think they would both sleep better there." Over the last few hours Fraser had discovered that Ray's brother really was, as Ray had said, 'a great guy'. "I often sleep on the floor, so you are welcome to use the couch. The only problem I can see now is getting Ray to agree to those arrangements."

"No problem...watch a professional at work."

With that James rose and made his way over to his sleeping brother. He softly spoke Ray's name as he gently laid his hand on his shoulder.

"Hey there little brother." Ray instantly opened his eyes and blinked up at James. "We need ta get Matt to bed. You mind doin' it for me?"

Ray nodded and absently rubbed at the side of his face. James helped his still half-asleep brother to his feet and helped him gather Matt into his arms. He turned Ray towards the bedroom and gave him a light push. "Just crawl in there with him for a bit and he'll settle right in."

Fraser watched with amusement as Ray obediently carried his nephew into the bedroom. James turned towards the Mountie and slowly counted to twenty. The two men then made their way to the bedroom door and peered in. It had worked very well. Matt was still asleep, lying on his side. Ray had curled himself around his nephew and was also sound asleep. James gave Fraser a thumbs-up sign and carefully went into the bedroom and pulled the covers up over the pair. 

The two men returned to the living room.

James gave Fraser a measuring glance. "I want to thank you for helping me convince Ray to do this tonight. I know your being here helped."

"Ray does seem rather ...shall we say....uneasy...in your presence."

"More like scared to death you mean." James smiled sadly and ran his hand across his face. "My little brother...Really something isn't he? I mean the guy gets a citation for bravery under fire, and is still scared to death to spend time with his own brother." 

"Three actually."

"What?"

"Ray has three citations for bravery under fire." Fraser was only slightly surprised by James' reaction. "Quite an accomplishment, really. Many fine officers go through an entire career without receiving such an honor."

"Three?...I only knew about one...1988...saved a kid...got himself wounded....Three? Mum never..."

"Ray once told me that he only told your parents about the first one." Fraser smiled sadly at James' hurt expression. "He said he didn't want them to worry, but I somehow always felt that there was more to it than that."

"Oh ya....Damian Kowalski...You can bet that's most of it." 

Fraser studied James carefully. "I have noticed the rather...strained relationship that Ray has with his father."

James sat quietly for several moments. It was clear to the Mountie that the other man was weighing the situation carefully in his mind. Benton sent up a quick prayer that James had gained enough comfort with him to continue the conversation. Ray Kowalski had become one of the two most important people in Fraser's life, and he felt that if he could gain a better understanding of what made his complicated friend tick it would be an asset. Benton had suspected for quite some time that there was more than a failed marriage behind his partner's low self-esteem, but for as mouthy as Ray could be on most topics he could be very close-mouthed about painful personal matters.

At last James seemed to come to a decision. "Ben, I can tell that you consider my brother a good friend, and I'm going to have to trust that you won't use anything that I have to say to hurt him in any way." James gave Fraser a penetrating gaze as he continued. "I love my brother very much."

"As do I." As soon as he spoke Fraser dropped his gaze in embarrassment. He snapped his neck to the side and then once again raised his eyes to me James'. "Oh dear...I'm afraid that expressing my feelings has never been easy for me...and I have never had a brother...and...well... very few really good friends."

"Relax Ben." James gave the Mountie a reassuring smile. "It's not like I'm not going to be spilling my guts to you here in a minute. Just say it."

Fraser made a weak attempt at a smile. He really wasn't comfortable with trying to express his feelings, but if it could help him earn James' trust, and mend the rift between the brothers, he would have to try. 

"Your brother is a very important person to me, and if I had ever _had_ a brother, I couldn't have asked for one any more valued than Ray. I have on occasion been as angry with him as I have ever been with anyone in my life, but he has taught me that our friendship can survive such anger. He has also shown me that when you care so deeply that it hurts, it is all right to cry. It makes you no less a man. Best of all he has given me the freedom to laugh, even at myself." Fraser was suddenly warmed by the realization that this admission was proving much less difficult than he had feared. He had Ray Kowalski to thank for that. 

James watched as a relieved smile suddenly replaced the Mountie's original stiffness.

"Ray often calls me a freak, and in Chicago, I guess I rather am, but your brother has shown nothing but unqualified acceptance of that. I believe in that acceptance I seem to have found a surprising amount of...for lack of a better phrase...emotional freedom....It is a freedom that at times I am still hesitant to exercise, ...but thanks to Ray, I at least now know of the liberating possibilities of that freedom....and then of course there is the fact that...Well... Were you aware that the very first day that we worked together he took a bullet that was intended for me...even after I had treated him rather shabbily?" 

"If I hadn't found out about the other two citations, do you really think he would have told me about taking a bullet?..." Fraser couldn't miss the hurt reflected in James' voice. "Was it bad?"

"He was wearing a vest....He was only bruised....But your point is well taken. I doubt he told anyone else about it." Fraser turned his most earnest gaze towards James. "I owe Ray my life...In more ways than one. You can trust me. I would never do anything to hurt Ray."

James nodded his head and a rather relieved smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Okay then, but one thing I want you to understand Ben, is that my Dad isn't a bad guy, and he really does love Ray. He just doesn't understand how much he has hurt him over the years...He just wanted the best for Ray...but he just didn't handle it right. Sometimes you can want something for someone so bad that you kind of lose track of what you're doing... and...well...It gets turned around until what you wanted somehow becomes more important than the person you wanted it for. I know that's kind of a mouth full...but I just don't want you to jump to the wrong conclusion about our dad."

"I understand James. I have always prided myself on the ability to weigh all the facts of a given situation before making any decisions, and I assure you that my prejudice in regards to Ray not withstanding, I will endeavor to maintain an open mind in this matter."

James stared at the Mountie, a slight smile curving his lips...What did Ray call him? A freak? James gave himself a mental shake before he continued. 

"The reason Ray never told the folks about the other citations is because of the way Dad reacted after the first one. I couldn't believe it...It was...Well...I know part of it was just because Dad hated the idea of Ray getting hurt, but he said some things that were just way out of line. He called Ray a 'stupid bastard'...jumped all over him for being so stupid in getting himself shot, and scaring Mum to death. That was one of the few times in eight years that he even spoke to Ray. The rest of the time it was just little messages passed through Mum. Its no wonder Ray never mentioned any of the others."

"But at least your Father did return to Chicago...It seems he is at least making an effort to make amends." Fraser could see how painful this was for James.

"Ya he did....finally." James shook his head sadly as he continued. "I've been working on him for almost three years, but he finally did come back. He can be pretty bull-headed."

"If I may ask? What happened between you and Ray?" Fraser was relieved to see that James seemed to want to tell this story as much as he wanted to hear it. 

"Same thing basically...Damian Kowalski." James rubbed his hands through his hair, settled back against the couch and began his story. "Dad was always throwing me up in Ray's face...telling him he should be more like me...You know...'Look at James...why can't you be more like James'...Hell, I got sick of hearing it, I know what Ray was feeling about it. Shit...Thing of it was....Ray was doing the best he could. I'd try and tell Dad that, but he just didn't want to hear it. He couldn't see that Ray had a problem...couldn't accept the fact that there might just be something wrong with 'his' son." James sent an embarrassed glance towards the Mountie, hoping that he hadn't revealed too much to his brother's friend.

"A learning disability?" 

James sighed with relief at Fraser's response. "Ya...Not a bad one, but they didn't know much about that stuff then...I mean they had most of the obvious ones nailed, but Ray's was so mild.... He learned to compensate for it...Ya know? ...Taught himself a few tricks to get by....But it was hard for him. Dad was convinced he just wasn't trying. I knew better...I used to help him with his homework...I _knew_ he was trying...and I _sure_ knew he wasn't stupid. Dad would say some really mean things ....When Ray would tell him that he _was_ trying, Dad would call him a liar, and tell him if that was the best he could do if he was tryin', then he really _must_ be stupid. You tell a kid that enough and they start believing it. Once I got into college I did a little checking around. One of Beth's friends was majoring in Education so one night I sat down and picked her brain about learning disabilities. When I went to Dad with what I'd found out he just went ballistic...He wouldn't hear of the idea that there was anything wrong with a son of his...And then he turned right around and told Ray that I thought he was retarded...and that was why he just wasn't cutting it in school. Ray blew up...And I didn't blame him."

"Was that just before you left for Austin?"

"Ya...He came down a few years later. We talked about it...I told him to forget about it, but you know Ray...To him it was just one more thing he had screwed up. I see him once in awhile when I make a trip to town, but he's always so damn nervous about it that it isn't always much fun. Last time wasn't so bad...He stayed at the Hotel with Matt while Beth and I went out. Came back and found them both zonked out on the bed with the TV on."

"Yes...He told me about that."

"It wasn't until Matt was diagnosed with a learning disability that it finally started to get through to Dad. He told me it was a good thing I noticed something was wrong at such an early age.....I almost punched him. I told him the reason I spotted it so soon was because I had seen it before...with Ray." James gave Fraser a small ornery smile. "I kinda lost it. Told him how wrong he had been about Ray. Even got up the nerve to tell him that he was the reason Ray and I didn't see much of each other. I reminded him of some of the mean things he had said to him over the years...always using me to try and get Ray to try harder. And it wasn't just school stuff...You know he even had the nerve to tell Ray that the only reason Stella ever married him was because she thought that someday he would straighten up and be more like me...So when they did get a divorce he said it was because she had finally given up and realized that he would never be good enough for her....Damn...How could he even _think_ something like that?" 

James ducked his head and took a quick swipe at his eyes.

"Believe it or not, what finally make him decide to come back was a bad case of indigestion...He had thought he was having a heart attack...scared him. Scared him enough that him and Mum made a trip to Austin. He said he had some things that he needed me to know...told me he loved me...how important we were to him...He wanted to make sure I understood. I let him get it all said and them asked him...You know?...What about Ray? Ray has needed to hear that for so long...and needed it a lot more than I did. Guess it kind of brought it all to a head for him. I know it isn't easy for him, and he never has really gotten around to talking to Ray about it...But at least he has made a start...Like I said...He can be damn bull-headed."

"Indeed." Fraser gave James a warm understanding smile. "A Kowalski family trait, I believe." 

James returned the smile and then turned very serious. "Ya...But...I'm afraid those two cornered the market on that. If I would have been a little more bull-headed I might have been able to get through to Dad a long time ago, but I gotta admit...I was always kind of scared of him." James looked intently into Fraser's eyes and sighed deeply. 

"Please don't hold this against my Dad, Ben, but sometimes...Well...Sometimes with Ray it went a little further than just verbal abuse." Fraser couldn't hide his shock. 

"Don't get me wrong...Dad didn't...You know...Beat on him, but there were more than a few busted lips. The two of them would get started...and well...you know Ray...He wouldn't back up an inch. Dad would get so mad the next thing ya know he'd smack him one. Then of course, Dad would have to remind Ray that he never had to hit his _perfect_ little James...Only Ray...The screw-up. Ray never hit him back...never cried either...He would just stand right back up in Dad's face, almost like he was daring him to do it again....And.. well...One day he did...Only this time it wasn't just a slap...it was a full out punch in the face. Knocked him out colder than 4 o'clock. Fractured Ray's cheekbone...gave him one hell-of-a-shiner. That was the last time Dad ever hit him, but if I would have had a little more backbone it might never have gotten that far. I shouldn't have let him do that to my little brother. I should have protected him...I should have stopped it...Hell I should have stopped all of it...But I was scared of the old man turning on me."

Fraser sat in silence as James dropped his head in shame and again made a swipe at his eyes. The Mountie realized the courage required to expose such painful family secrets to someone you had just met. Although there was a rising desire in him to face Damian Kowalski and repay him in kind for what he had done to his sons, Fraser understood that at this point his understanding and restraint would be the most helpful thing he could do. No action now could undo the past. The important thing now, for all concerned, was to try and build a future for Ray and James.

Fraser rose from the overstuffed chair and settled on the arm of the couch. He laid a reassuring hand on James shoulder. "I want to thank you for telling me this. I know it wasn't easy, but it answers a lot of questions that I never had the courage to ask." As James lifted his tear-brightened eyes to meet his, Fraser continued. "I have suspected for some time that Ray has been hindered by some form of learning disorder. Like you, I know that Ray is far from 'stupid', but sometimes he can get tripped up on what to most would be considered simple things. He often struggles to find the right words for what he wants to say, and it often leads to his frustration. But you should be very proud of what he _has_ accomplished in his life. He is a fine officer, and a very caring individual. I'm sure that he understands that you did the best you could then...And you should be very proud of what you are trying to do now. It would have been easier, and I believe the action chosen by most, to just let things remain as they are. I'm glad that you realize that it is worth any effort required to mend this estrangement with Ray." 

"That's the only reason I came back here...I want Matt to get to really know his Uncle....Ray and I used to be so close...I want us to be that way again. I know he's worth it." James smiled wistfully as he continued. "Now if we could just convince Dad of that...Huh?"

"Indeed." 

 

 

The next morning was one of the best that James Kowalski could remember in a long time. It was almost like old times. Ray was more relaxed in his presence than he had been in the last several years. Matt and Fraser being there had definitely helped. James couldn't help but envy the easy camaraderie between his brother and the Mountie, but he was too happy for his brother to care. It had always bothered James to think that his little brother was all alone in Chicago. Now he knew he wasn't. Fraser had a way of taking Ray's mind off the situation and was able to help the brother's over the few difficult moments that did crop up. 

James couldn't hide the silly grin on his face as he watched his brother and his young son argue over who got the last of the Captain Crunch, or as he listened as Fraser lectured them both on feeding junk food to the wolf. He had never really gotten to see the fine man that his brother had become, and knowing that this was just a glimpse, he couldn't help but feel saddened that so many years had been wasted. His one wish was that someday his Father would come to truly appreciate the fact that he had two sons of which he could be proud.

No one was particularly surprised that as the morning went on, and the time to leave for the cookout drew closer, things began to change. James watched in despair as Ray began to once again tense-up, and withdraw at the knowledge that soon they would be face to face with their father again.

When Ray moved towards his bedroom to grab a jacket James threw a meaningful glance towards the Mountie and slowly followed. When Ray turned from his closet he was surprised to find his big brother standing quietly behind him. James couldn't miss the momentary panic that flashed through Ray's expression before he self-consciously dropped his gaze to the floor.

James stepped up to his brother and placed his hands on the blonde's bony shoulders. "I want you to listen to me Ray." James had to give Ray a gentle shake before he would raise his head to make eye contact. "Today is going to be for you and me...Alright...I mean for once in our lives...Screw the old man...know what I mean?"

Ray smiled sadly, and gave a quick nod of agreement, but James saw the uncertainty reflected in his brothers blue eyes. He hated the idea of losing the tenuous connection they had made this morning. His brother was a good man; a man that he wanted comfortably in his life. Their father had hurt Ray, and James again felt the sting of guilt at the fact that he hadn't done more to stop it. It was a hurt that had caused Ray to pull away from his own family. It was a hurt that had cost everyone. James suddenly resolved that he would never allow Damian Kowalski to ever hurt his little brother again.

 

 

 

The GTO glided to a smooth stop in the parking lot of the Video store. Not only were they going to return the videos they rented yesterday, but Matt had voiced the opinion that a nice children's video would help keep his overactive two year old sister out of everyone's hair. As the group neared the store a big man threw the door open and left in a rush. Ray was quick to notice the man's agitated state. His eyes were wide and flashing, and a light sheen of sweat covered his pale features. To Ray it was obvious that the man was high on something, and very nearly out of control. The blond was instantly on alert. Ray held the door and allowed the rest of the group to enter. He waited a moment longer and watched the big man jerk open his car door and lean in to get something from under the seat. Ray reacted instantly. 

The slender Detective rushed into the store. There was only one other customer present. As Ray hustled everyone to one of the aisles just inside the door, but hidden from anyone entering, he shouted for the owner to call the police. 

"Fraser." The partner's eyes locked, as Ray handed his friend his cell phone. The unspoken line of communication was working as well as ever.

"I'll take care of them." Fraser watched as Ray pulled his backup gun out of its ankle holster. "Be careful Ray."

Ray could sense his brother's realization of the situation. The thin blond gave his brother a stern look. "James...Take care of Matt...Everything is going to be alright." The blond could read the reluctance in his brother's features. "Please Jimmy...Get him out a here...I'll be out in a bit...Promise." Ray quickly reached over and gave his brother's shoulder a squeeze. 

"Ray?!" The desperation reflected in his brother's voice almost made Ray flinch, but as the front door slammed open any opportunity to continue was lost.

As soon as the huge man had hurled past the small group huddled in the aisle the Mountie and the Cop quickly hustle everyone out through the door. Ray had kept his eye on the scene that had begun to play itself out at the back of the store. It wasn't until everyone was safely out the door that Ray rose from his crouch and approached the gunman.

The man was big...really big. He was well over six-foot, and built like a steel wedge. He was waving his gun in the face of the frightened man behind the counter. He was raving on about the man's involvement with his wife.

The owner was a small frail looking man. Ray guessed him to be in his late fifties, or early sixties. Even with that the man displayed a cool that impressed the blond Detective, but seemed to cause the gunman even more distress. 

"I know you been messin' with her.!" The huge man had yet to notice Ray's approach.

"Listen to me Mike...I'm her boss...I just gave her a ride home." Ray could tell that the older man was trying hard to stall. "For Chris'sakes Mike...It was rainin' cats and dogs...I swear ta ya man....I just gave her a ride." 

"Chicago PD gentlemen. What seems to be the problem?" Ray spoke in a quiet conversational tone. It wasn't until the gunman had spun around to bring the gun to bare on him and away from the civilian that he kicked into his tough-cop mode. "Drop the gun...Chicago PD...Drop the gun...Now!!!"

The old man began to carefully inch towards the end of the counter. The big man didn't fail to notice, but before he could make a move Ray continued. "You move an inch and I _will_ drill ya."

The big man locked eyes with the slightly built man in front of him and knew that he meant what he said. The two antagonists stood face to face, so close that their guns were almost touching.

Ray never wavered as he addressed the old man behind the counter. "Mister, I think you should move on out of here....Me and ole Mikey here need ta talk about this."

"That son-of-a-bitch has been messin' with my wife, man!!!" The big man watched helplessly as the owner slowly made his way from behind the counter.

"That's somethin' we can work out later Mike. Right now it's just you and me." Ray moved slightly to the side to allow the old man to get between him and the first rack of videos. The sound of approaching sirens could be heard in the distance. "I need you to just put that gun down. I don't want anyone getting' hurt here, Mike....Not him...not you...The troops are on the way and we need to get this over with before it gets out of hand. Just put the gun down and we can all go somewhere and figure this thing out."

Ray was relieved to see some of the resolve drain from the man before him. It was obvious to the Detective that this was just a guy who had allowed his anger, and substance abuse to get him into a bad situation. A situation that he now seemed to realize was hopeless.

It was then that everything fell apart. 

 

 

 

Fraser kept his hand firmly on James' arm. He could sense the man's tension and was determined to honor the wishes of his partner, and keep his family safe. The small group had positioned themselves behind the GTO. Dief and Matt were wedged between the two adults. 

Although his outward demeanor didn't show it the Mountie was fighting his own emotional battle. He had left Ray behind to face the gunman alone. His logical side told him that with the safety of Ray's family at stake, and the realization that he was, after all, the one who was not armed, the course of action taken was the correct one. His emotional side, however, although even now carefully hidden, was going absolutely ballistic. It was even worse than the time he had come upon his partner laid out across the hood of a car, his own gun held at his face by an enraged man desperate to obtain a gun to rob a bank. At least in that situation the Mountie had felt as if he had some control, but now he had no idea what was being played out inside the video store. He couldn't see his partner. He wasn't with him. The agonizing feeling of uncertainty was very near to choking him off completely. It was only the need in staying calm and protecting his partner's family that seemed to hold him together. 

He had made a quick call to the 27th,and then another to Welsh at his home. Luckily the Lieutenant didn't live far and had assured the Mountie that he would be there in less than a half-hour. That knowledge had brought at least a slight sense of relief to Fraser. He knew that Welsh wouldn't allow any over anxious uniformed officer to recklessly endanger one of his Detectives. Now all he could do was wait. 

The Mountie's attention was so focused on the video store that he barely noticed that James was speaking.

"....first time in years...and it takes something like this...Shit!"

Fraser turned his gaze to meet that of James Kowalski. The barely contained emotions in those so familiar blue eyes nearly took the Mountie's breath.

"Excuse me...I'm afraid that I wasn't listening."

"Ah...It's nothing really...It's just..." 

"It's alright James...Please...Tell me." The shared concern for their brother and friend seemed to have sealed the relationship between the two men.

"It's just....He called me Jimmy....Ray hasn't called me Jimmy in years...Every since...Well you know. It's always been James...Today was the first time in so long...and it has to be...now."

"Ray does love you...You're his big brother." Fraser gently gave the other man's arm a squeeze. "He would want you to know that."

James opened his mouth as if to speak, but the words failed him. He nodded sadly and gathered Matt into his arms. 

 

 

Ray could sense that the old man was nearing the door. He desperately hoped that once the focus of this man's anger was out of sight Mike would calm down, come to his senses, and realize that he was in a no-win situation.

The thin blond concentrated on the troubled face before him. He instantly noticed when a puzzled expression appeared on the large fellow's face. Ray wanted desperately to chance a glance over his shoulder, but he knew that he couldn't risk letting the man's gun out of his sight for even an instant. It wasn't long before the puzzle was revealed. 

The old man had stopped at the open door half in and half out of the building. "You can keep your old lady Mike...She's a lousy lay." 

Ray was not prepared for Mike's response. The big man seemed to lose all notice of the armed officer in front of him, or even the fact that he was armed himself. He let out an animalistic roar and hurled himself down the aisle towards the front door. As the big man bowled him over the only thing that Ray could do was make a frantic grab at Mike's legs. The big man hit the floor with a breathy grunt, his arms stretched out in front of him. Ray instantly scrambled to his knees and spying his boot gun just under the edge of the video rack leaned forward to grab it. Just as he did, Mike swung his arm back in a wide slashing arc. The gun just grazed Ray's cheekbone opening up a nasty gash. His cheek was instantly covered with blood. Although Ray was only momentarily stunned, it still gave Mike enough time to spin around and take the advantage. The big man jerked Ray roughly to his feet, twisting his left arm viciously behind his back and jamming the gun hard against his throat.

 

 

Two squad cars arrived just as the owner ran from the video store. Fraser noticed how the older man had paused at the door and then ran as fast as he could towards the cruisers. The Mountie watched as the owner began speaking to the officers, his hands working as fast as his mouth. It was the sharp intake of breath from the man beside him that brought Fraser's attention back to the video store. What he saw chilled his heart.

A very large, very angry man was holding a gun to his partner's throat. Benton had to fight down the urge to bolt to his friend's aid. The gunman was still inside, pacing madly back and forth across the front of the store. He would periodically stop just long enough to shove Ray up against the front window, to allow the police a view of his hostage. Blood covered the side of Ray's face, dripping down to be soaked up by his shirt. Even from this distance Fraser could tell that his partner was in pain. The man was so much taller than Ray and had his arm twisted behind his back so savagely that the slender blond was up on his toes in an attempt to reduce the torque on his joints. Although his right arm was free he couldn't get any leverage with which to break the hold. At times Ray would even grab the bulging forearm of the man's gun hand and pull himself up allowing the frenzied man to actually carry him a few steps and relieve some of the searing pain in his shoulder. 

The gunman would alternate from talking to Ray, to yelling his rage at the police. As if to accentuate his position he would at times point the gun towards the police and then jam it roughly back against the side of Ray's neck. Fraser could tell that Ray was trying to talk to the big man; trying to calm him down to the point where he would listen to reason. The only thing it seemed to gain the thin blond was a few more forceful jabs in the throat. Nothing about this situation gave the indication that it would last long. The man was too far out of control. It was then that Welsh's blue sedan came to a screeching halt beside one of the cruisers.

Benton Fraser was amazed at the feeling of relief that washed over him as he watched his partner's gruff boss unfold himself from the car. The Mountie hustled James and Matt over to the Lieutenant and after a quick introduction gave the older man a thorough run down of what had happened. James positioned Matt in the back seat of Welsh's car with strict orders to stay, and then joined the two men whose attention was riveted on the scene in the video store. 

"Swat is on the way, Constable." The concern that the big man felt was evident in his voice.

"I understand that Leftenant...But the man is so far out of control that I'm afraid there will be no negotiation....or time." As if on cue the front door of the video store slammed open and the gunman moved his frantic pacing to the sidewalk using Ray as a shield.

James swore loudly and if not for Fraser grabbing his arm and forcing him back down would have made a move towards his struggling brother. The Lieutenant signaled one of the uniformed officers to keep his eye on James and turned to face Fraser. The Mountie and the Lieutenant locked eyes. The urgency of the new developments was obvious to them both; and so was the solution.

"We need him to get the gun off Ray." As he spoke Welsh moved to the trunk of his car and lifted it only enough to remove a slim rifle case. Again the two men locked eyes; their need to speak negated by a mutual concern for their friend. Fraser nodded and as Welsh readied his weapon the Mountie moved off behind the cover of the cars. 

 

 

Lieutenant Harding Welsh leaned quietly on the back of his car. The rifle cradled carefully in his large hands. The car was at enough of an angle that it allowed him to cover the total range of the gunman's frantic pacing. He forced himself to concentrate on the big man and not on the struggles of his Detective and friend. Ray Kowalski could be a royal pain in the ass, but he was a good cop, and a good man. The more important fact for Welsh was that he was _his_ royal pain...and he stood by his Detectives...royal pains or not. Since moving outside the store the gunman had yet to remove the gun from Ray's throat. In spite of Ray's continued dialogue with his captor, it was obvious that the man was getting more upset by the minute. It was then that Fraser made his move.

The Mountie had worked his way as far to Welsh's left as he could and still remain under cover. The maneuver had put him to the right of the gunman. Fraser suddenly stepped out into view, his arms spread, palms open.

"Sir. If you would kindly put down your gun and release my friend, I'm sure that we can work this out." As he spoke Fraser took a cautious step forward.

Ray's attempt to yell for his partner to return to cover was cut off as Mike again jammed the gun hard against his neck. But then the big man pulled the gun away from Ray and pointed it at the Mountie. In that instant Welsh fired. 

The slug from the rifle slammed into the big man's right shoulder. A harsh cry escaped the wounded man as the force of the blow drove him backwards. It was followed instantly by one from Ray. The man's sudden reaction from the slug's impact jerked Ray completely off the ground and the two entangled men fell heavily to the sidewalk.

The next half-hour passed in a blur. Despite Ray's protests Fraser had insisted that he stay as still as possible. The unnatural angle of Ray's left arm and the fact that he had made no effort to move it from behind his back made it obvious that if not broken it was at the very least severely sprained. The Mountie was fairly certain that Ray would have been more adamant about getting up if he truly felt that he could accomplish it without passing out. 

It had taken James a while to convince the officers to allow him to go to Ray. He had just gotten a mumbled reassurance from his bloodied brother before the medics arrived and ordered every one back. The sight of his little brother; bleeding and in such obvious pain; and the awful feeling of helplessness it caused, was almost overpowering. It was then that he felt a strong hand give his shaking shoulder a squeeze. He turned to see Lieutenant Welsh.

"Ray's a tough little shit...He'll be alright." James tried to return a small smile, but the tears that threatened betrayed his concern. "Why don't you and Matt ride with me...Fraser will stay with Ray...He'll listen to the Constable. We'll be right behind the ambulance." 

James didn't even attempt to speak. He had always realized the danger embodied in his brother's profession, but to actually see the possible ramifications was sobering. Suddenly James could understand his father's reaction to learning of Ray's first citation. He never wanted to see his brother hurt either, but under all the fear ran a strong feeling of pride. He had learned today just what a brave man his brother was. It would have been easy for Ray to just follow them out of the building to safety, and leave that old man to his own devises. James was awed by the fact that through the courageous efforts of _his_ little brother no one here today lost his life. 

Welsh laid his arm across the shoulders of the smaller man and turned him back towards the car. James took one last look as the medics eased Ray's gurney into the back of the ambulance. It was going to be a long ride. 

 

 

The small group had been waiting for well over two hours. Welsh, Fraser, and Matt sat patiently against the wall watching James make his way back and forth across the room. If the situation were different it would have been almost funny. The similarities between the brothers' Kowalski were more evident with each pass that James made. James had rammed his hand through his normally neatly combed hair enough that the Kowalski cowlicks were becoming increasingly more prominent. His quick, near frenetic pacing showed the same energy as one slightly taller Chicago Detective with which he shared a last name. The thing that was the most interesting for the Mountie was James slipping back into the nasally street lingo of his Chicago youth. 

"Dis really butters my muffin...Ya can't tell me it takes dis long ta x-ray a guys arm...Geeze." James suddenly stopped before his seated companions. "Ya don't think dares somethin' dey ain't tellin' us...Do ya?...Na...Dey wouldn't dare....Dey try anyting like dat and I will be kickin' some heads around dis place....Geeze !!" As James began his next agitated circuit Welsh and Fraser exchanged a small bemused smile. These two men were definitely brothers.

It was only a few minutes later that a very concerned Kowalski family came hustling into the waiting room. At James' request, Welsh had placed the call to inform the rest of the family as to what had happened and where Ray had been taken. James had felt that he was in no shape to calmly reassure his parents that Ray was really all right. The events of the day had left him anything but calm. 

Damian and Barbara rushed to James followed closely by a very pale and obviously shaken Beth. After a quick hug and the reassurance that he and Matt were both unhurt they began to ask about Ray. Although Barbara was definitely showing the strain she was conducting herself in a way that reflected a tough inner strength. Damian on the other hand was not handling it well at all. As soon as he was sure that Ray wasn't seriously injured his concern began to turn to anger. 

"What in the hell was that idiot thinkin'....He could a gotten you all killed." Damian gestured towards Matt as he continued. "Playin' 'super cop' again was he?...Matt was right there.... My God...The idiot!"

Welsh couldn't miss the dangerous glint that suddenly appeared in James eyes. Damian was obviously too distracted to notice that he was suddenly walking on very thin ice. The Lieutenant stepped forward, laid a calming hand on James' shoulder and spoke firmly to the elder Kowalski.

"Sir, your 'idiot son' happens to be one of _my_ Detectives, and I know as sure as we're standing here that he handled this situation and himself in a very professional manner. Now I know that you're upset right now, but I think the best thing you could do is calm down and go find a seat." Welsh was relieved to see some of the anger drain from the older man in front of him. The last thing he wanted was to have to cold-cock Ray's dad, but the rather pleasant thought had crossed his mind.

Damian and Barbara found seats against the other wall. Fraser and Welsh both stood to allow Beth and Abby to join James and Matt. The elder Kowalski was not totally over his mad fit. Damian was trying to keep his voice hushed, but James could hear Ray's name mentioned as his father continued an animated dialogue with his wife. Each time that James even suspected that his dad was referring to his younger brother he would send a warning glance across the room. 

Welsh looked from James to Damian and then turned to speak quietly to Fraser.

"Constable, I think I had better take a walk before I do something that I may regret later." Welsh rubbed a tough hand over his tired face. "Do you want a cup a coffee or somethin'?"

"No thank you Leftenant." Fraser understood Welsh's rising anger with Ray's dad. "I will wait here. They should be able to tell us something about Ray's condition soon."

Welsh nodded his head in understanding and with one more disgusted glance towards Damian turned and left the room. Fraser continued to stand at parade rest against the wall. He could clearly tell that James was struggling with his own anger towards his dad. The Mountie had just decided to try and defuse the situation when a nurse appeared through the inner emergency room door. 

"Constable Fraser?" The Mountie instantly stepped forward.

"Yes Ma'am." 

James stood and joined Benton as the nurse continued.

"Constable your partner's doctor would like to talk to you for a moment."

Fraser shot an apologetic glance towards James as Barbara and Damian quietly joined the circle. "This is Detective Vecchio's family. How is Ray?" 

The nurse smiled warmly at the small group. "Detective Vecchio is going to be fine. He has a spiral fracture of the left arm and some soft tissue damage in his shoulder. He also has a few stitches in his cheek. The reason it has taken so long and our main concern is that he has experienced some internal swelling in his throat. He was having some slight difficulty with his breathing, and it is still very painful for him to swallow. We have gotten the swelling down to an acceptable level and as long as he is careful and takes it easy for awhile he will be fine. We are going to let him go home, as long as he has someone to stay with him at least overnight. If he starts to have any difficulties he will have to come back in. That is why the doctor would like to speak to you Constable." 

"But _we_ are his family!" Damian spoke to the nurse, but his stern look was directed towards Fraser.

Fraser dropped his embarrassed gaze to the floor, but before he could form a reply James stepped between the Mountie and his father.

"Dad...That's enough...As far as Ray and I are both concerned, Fraser _is_ family." Damian seemed to finally catch the dangerous edge to James' voice. "He's been a better brother to Ray than I have. Now I'm asking you nicely Dad....Go set down."

James turned back towards Fraser and the nurse and gave a nod.

"Go on Ben. We'll wait right here."

As the Mountie followed the nurse out he cast a quick glance back. Damian had returned to his seat, but had once again started his muttering complaints. James stood in the center of the room, clenched hands resting on his hips his gaze boring into his father. 

 

 

Fraser quietly stepped into the curtained exam cubicle to wait for the doctor. Ray was lying back against the raised bed; bared chest, eyes closed. The Mountie took a moment to study his friend. Ray's left arm was encased in a temporary cast, and propped up on a stack of pillows. Bruises could be seen forming across his shoulder area. There was also a bruise showing around the small neat bandage that covered the stitches in his face. The side of the thin blonde's throat was a mix of reddish scrapes and angry looking bruises. Fraser was surprised at the amount of relief he felt in being in the same room with his partner. It was one thing to be told that his friend was going to be all right and quite another to be able to see for himself. Even in this sad shape, Ray Kowalski was a wonderful sight to behold.

"Ray?" Benton gently laid his hand on his friend's good shoulder.

Fraser smiled warmly as Ray's eyes fluttered open. It was obvious that his friend had been administered a good dose of painkiller. It seemed to take the blue eyes a long time to focus, but once they did a tentative smile began to brighten the pale, drawn face.

"Frase? ..." A painful wince and a weakly raised right hand indicated the pain that the small effort had caused. Fraser quickly placed a finger across his friend's lips and watched with concern at Ray's painful attempt to swallow.

"Shh...Don't try to talk Ray. Everything is going to be alright...." Benton moved his hand up to the side of Ray's face. "The doctor will be here in just a minute. They are going to let me take you home, so just relax." 

Ray gave his partner a desperate look and with his right hand mimed the motion of writing.

"I am somewhat accomplished at reading lips Ray, and as I have nothing with which to write....Well we can give it a try." 

The thin blond gave his partner a doubtful look, but then a slight nod. Ray turned his head to fully face his partner and carefully mouthed what he wanted to say.

"I doubt very much that your father will kill you Ray." The Mountie wasn't totally sure of the truth of that statement, but felt that reassurance was the ticket at the moment. "He is even now waiting outside."

Ray rolled his eyes and not to gently bit at his bottom lip. Ray again turned to his partner and silently mouthed another sentence.

"Yes Ray. James and Matt are both fine." Fraser smiled warmly as he continued. "You did a fine job today Ray. You diffused a very volatile situation. The perpetrator, although injured will be fine...You will be fine...We all have you to thank for our lives. It might have been a very tragic day without your efforts my friend." 

Ray gave a disbelieving little smirk as a shiver rippled through his lean form.

"Are you cold Ray?" The look of concern on the Mountie's face helped remind the thin blond how lucky he was to have such a friend.

Ray gave a small nod, formed a pair of scissors with his fingers and then pointed to his bare torso. 

"Ah...They had to cut your shirts off?" At Ray's affirmative nod the Mountie smiled and began to strip off his jacket. "Well my friend, it is indeed a fortunate thing that your partner is in the habit of layering. I do believe that we can get my t-shirt over your cast, and I also believe that the sleeve of my jacket is sufficiently wide to work as well." 

Ray's attempt to protest was halted with another painful wince.

Fraser gave his partner a stern look and then gently eased his friend's legs off the bed and carefully helped him into a setting position. Working together the partners were able to get the t-shirt over the cast and onto the thin Detective without to much trouble. Except for a quiet hiss between clenched teeth Ray was silent.

The doctor finally made his appearance. He quickly ran through a list of instructions for the care and feeding of one slightly damaged Stanley Raymond Kowalski. He gave Fraser a prescription for some painkiller, and a mild sedative. A nurse soon brought a shoulder brace, sling combination that while supporting the cast arm would also immobilize the shoulder by securing the upper arm to the blonde's thin torso. Fraser helped Ray into his jacket and carefully zipped it up. The doctor than showed the pair how to use the brace. 

"In about a week you need to come back in and get that temporary cast replaced. By then all the swelling should be gone and we can put on a hard cast. Until then I want you to wear this brace at all times; even to bed." The doctor smiled indulgently at the Detective's dirty look. "As far as the throat injury...If it hurts...don't do it. I would keep the talking to a minimum, and don't eat anything that is going to be hard to swallow. Got me?" 

Ray gave a resigned nod, and then a crooked smile. He formed the okay signal with his fingers and then shook the doctor's hand.

The doctor turned his attention to the Mountie. "We have him pretty well drugged up right now, so keep a hold on him. You'll know when to start the pain medication, and if he behaves himself I would hold off on the sedatives until bedtime. Alright?" 

"Yes Sir, and I want to thank you for taking care of my partner."

The doctor stood by as Fraser helped Ray to his feet. The blond swayed slightly, but soon gave his partner a small smile and a nod. The doctor held the curtain open, allowing the pair through.

"No problem Constable. Just be sure he gets back here in a week...and not before." 

"Indeed." 

 

 

 

When Welsh returned to the waiting room he couldn't miss the tension present in the air. Damian still sat next to Barbara. It was clear that his anger had only slightly diminished. James sat across the room trying to ignore his father's occasionally muttered remarks. As Welsh entered James rose to meet him.

"They came and got Fraser a little bit ago. They're going to let Ray go home if Fraser will stay with him tonight."

A relieved smile creased the Lieutenant's craggy face. "It's a done deal then. Fraser knows how much Ray hates hospitals. He'll take care of him."

"The stupid shit has us all out here worried out of our minds..." Damian allowed his normally hushed muttering to reach across the room. "...and he asks to see the damn Mountie."

Welsh watched in concern as James dropped his head and stared at the floor. Suddenly his head jerked up and he turned and spoke quietly to Beth. Beth gave her husband a pleased, slightly defiant smile as she gathered Abby in her arms and taking Matt by the hand quickly left the waiting room. Welsh was suddenly torn. He was pretty sure that James had determined to have a face off with his father. Part of him felt that he should make some effort to diffuse the situation, but the other part wanted to step back and join the James Kowalski cheering section. As it was things developed so fast that there was no need to choose.

 

 

Ray leaned heavily on Fraser as they made their way slowly down the hall. Between the exhaustion of the last week, the injuries, and the heavy dose of pain medication Ray had to concentrate on the simple task of just putting one foot in front of the other. He wanted nothing more than to be at home in his own bed. He really wasn't thrilled at the thought of facing his parents, but he knew they would be concerned and waiting for him. 

Fraser pulled the waiting room door open.

"Dad ! Just stop. Ray saved lives today...Mine and Matt's included...."

"First time in years that this family had a chance to get together and leave it ta that stupid idiot to try and get himself killed." Damian accented each word with a finger poke into his son's chest. 

Ray froze in his tracks. James and his father stood nose to nose in the middle of the waiting room. Both men were red in the face. Welsh stood by the wall an evil looking little smirk curling his lips. Barbara stood near her chair her eyes wide, her hand over her mouth. It was obvious that the partners had walked into the middle of a firestorm. 

James' barely controlled rage finally broke. Grabbing his father by the collar of his jacket he walked him backwards until he was not too gently jammed against the wall.

"My brother is _not_ stupid and he is _not_ an idiot, and I love him. He is a good and caring man who has more courage in his little finger than you or I have put together. I've stood by and let you run him down and hurt him over and over, and today it stops. I should have stopped it years ago....If I was half the man Ray is, I would have....but today it stops." 

Barbara rushed over and placed one hand on Damian's arm and one on her son's. James glared at his mother and shrugged his arm out of her grasp. He gentled his voice only slightly as he directed the next comment at her. "No one in this family has _ever_ stood up for Ray and by God today I am. You two say that you love him, but you haven't even bothered to get to know him." James turned his angry gaze back towards his dad. "Ray had the nerve ta do with his life what he wanted to do and your response was to cut and run. For eight years the only time you even bothered to talk to him was to give him hell for saving a kid....a kid like Matt for Chris'sakes...What kind of father would do that?" 

"He could have died that day...and don't you say I don't love him...cause I do!" Damian grabbed James' wrists and pulled himself loose.

"Did ya ever tell Ray that?...Hell no!...Ya ain't got the nerve to admit what a jack-ass you've been." James straightened his stance, lowered his voice and placed a warning finger in his father's face. "I will tell you two things Dad...You better _get_ the nerve or it's gonna cost ya _two_ sons....and if I _ever_ hear you say a word against my brother again I will kick your ass all over the state of Illinois. When I get done with you...you will have to work your zipper ta spit...Do you understand?" 

In the heavy silence that hung between the two combatants the hoarse whisper from across the room could have been a yell.

"Jimmy!?"

The two men turned to see the object of their argument. Ray's glassy blue eyes showed clearly his confusion and surprise. He had never seen his brother so angry in his life, especially towards their dad. Damian and Barbara both turned to approach their youngest son. James quickly put his hand in the middle of his father's chest and gently took hold of his mom's arm.

"No! Ray's been through enough today. He doesn't need your phony platitudes." James lowered his voice even further as he continued. "I want you two to go back to your little hide-a-way trailer and give some good hard thought to what I've said. If you can't love him for who he is...just stay there." James again directed his gaze towards his startled Father. "But if you mean it when you say you love him, you better find the nerve ta tell him. You almost lost any chance of it today."

James turned his back on his parents and went to his brother's side. 

"Come on little brother...Me and Fraser better get you home."

Ray stared at his brother like he was seeing him for the first time. His head was swimming with what had just happened. The last thing he wanted was to be the cause of a rift between his brother and their dad. The thin blond had often envied the closeness that James had with their father. Ray didn't want to screw that up...He had screwed up so much where his family was concerned...He didn't want James to lose the one thing that he himself had always craved...His father's love. 

James, sensing his brother's rising panic, gently laid his hand along Ray's angular jaw and carefully traced his thumb over the bandage on his cheek. 

"Come on little brother....We'll worry about all this stuff tomorrow....Everything's gonna to be alright....I promise." The love that Ray saw reflected in his brother's face nearly took his breath. It came as such a startling revelation that Ray had to struggle just to give his brother a small nod, as tears began to brighten his already glassy eyes. The thin blond cast an embarrassed glance towards his shell-shocked parents as his partner and his brother led him from the room. 

Lieutenant Welsh levered himself away from the wall and studied the chalky-faced couple before him. Damian looked up into the big man's eyes and could read the mixture of contempt and pity reflected there. 

Welsh locked eyes with the older man and spoke softly.

"You blow this chance?...and you're a damn fool!" 

 

 

The ride back to Ray's apartment was a quick one for the slender blond. There was so much that Ray wanted to say, but every time he would get the words straight enough in his fuzzed up brain to make an attempt someone would hush him up and he would have to start the process all over again. Sometime after his third try Fraser had launched into one of his Inuit stories and the next thing Ray knew he was half way up the stairs to his apartment.

By the time they had made their way inside Ray had gathered enough reserve to gently pull himself away from Fraser's support and make his way to his desk. He fumbled around for a pad and pen and quickly began to write a note. The Mountie couldn't hide his smile as he watched his partner puzzle over the contents. It was obvious from the amount of scratch outs and write-overs that Ray was struggling to get his brain and his pen working together. At last he turned and handed the finished note to his brother. 

James quickly read the note and then met Ray's concerned gaze.

"I told you not to worry about this Ray." James put his hand on Ray's good shoulder as he continued. "Dad and I _will_ talk...Just not right now...We both need to cool off a bit. This isn't the first time dad and I have had a shouting match...It's just the first one you ever got to see....Me and the ole man have fought before."

Ray shook his head vigorously. "Not because a me." Ray winced from the effort to produce the hoarse whisper but it was obvious that the painful swallow that followed was worse. 

James' face reflected his concern as he gave Ray's shoulder a solid squeeze. "Yes because of you little brother...Like I said...You just never got to see it...But I don't want you worrying about it. Someone has to try and get through to that bull-headed ole fart....I know he does a lousy job of showing it, but he _does_ love you Ray."

James could read Ray's doubts in the truth of that statement, and it very nearly broke his heart. James suddenly realized that through all these years, and through all the pain, Ray had never put a voice to those doubts. Perhaps it was a fear of having those doubts confirmed, or perhaps it was a desire to in some way protect his older brother from coming to share in them, but for what ever reason, James could never recall Ray ever saying a bad word against their father. James' feelings of guilt were suddenly reinforced by the knowledge that while he had failed to protect his younger brother, his younger brother had, in his own way, been protecting him. 

The blond studied his brother closely and then seemed to come to a decision. Ray began a near frantic search of his pockets. It was becoming clear to both James and Fraser that Ray was not going to leave this alone. His growing agitation was becoming a concern to both men. James shot Benton a meaningful glance and pulling Ray's prescription out of his jacket pocket flipped it to the Mountie. As Ray spun and began to look around the apartment James gently took hold of the waistband of his jeans to help steady him. The younger Kowalski spotted the keys for the GTO on the counter and grabbing them up turned and thrust them into James hand. 

"Now Jimmy...please." Ray had to press the heel of his hand against his throat before he could continue. "Don't want ya ta screw this up 'cause a me." 

"Ray...Dad and I love each other...A good old fashioned shouting match isn't going to screw that up."

"Did for us." The thin blond lowered his gaze to the floor, but not before James could read the depth of regret in his blue eyes.

"NO!" 

James forced himself to take a deep calming breath. He was surprised at the anger that flared at the thought that Ray would even think that, but it also helped him understand his brother's agitation. It saddened James to realize that Ray's perception of the situation was a direct result of his life's experiences. Ray had argued with his brother and his brother had left. He had argued with his father and his father had left. James now understood that after witnessing the argument between himself and his father it was a legitimate concern for Ray that an argument over _him_ could now cost James a relationship with their father as well.

"Oh boy little brother....We need to talk."

Ray again gave his head a vigorous shake. He grabbed the hand that held the car keys and pressed it against James' chest.

"Talk ta dad!" It was almost a shout. In his frustration Ray had forgotten about his painful throat. He tried to swallow the moan that followed, but that hurt even worse. Ray nearly collapsed against his brother's stout chest.

"Whoa there...Damn it Ray...Calm down." James shot a concerned glance towards the Mountie as he gently pulled Ray's head down to rest on his shoulder. He gave his brother a moment to recover and then carefully pushed him back to where he could again look him in the eye. "You okay now? Listen to me Ray. I don't wanna do it, but if you don't back off this a little I'll take your skinny ass back to the hospital. I _know_ you don't want that...so...You gonna calm down? "

Ray tried to blink away the tears that had sprung to his eyes, and gave his brother a shaky nod. 

James laid the car keys back on the counter and snaking his arm around his brother's thin waist gently turned him towards the bedroom. "I promise you Ray; I will talk to dad first thing in the morning. By then we will have both had some time to cool off, and to think about what was said. Right now you're the one I want to talk to." As the brothers neared the bedroom James glanced back over his shoulder and was relieved to see Fraser following with a glass of water and Ray's medication.

James stopped Ray beside the bed and carefully removed the shoulder brace. By the time he had helped Ray out of the jacket Fraser was standing by with one of Ray's oversized sweatshirts. James eased the sweatshirt over his brother's cast and then helped Ray pull it on. As James began to refasten the brace the Mountie used the distraction to get Ray to take his medication with no more reaction than a slightly mulish glare. Fraser took that as a clear indication that either his partner still wasn't thinking straight, or the blond was in more pain than he was willing to admit.

James gave his little brother a light push to set him down on the bed and then knelt down to pull off his boots. Ray reached his right hand out and laid it on his brother's shoulder.

"You'll talk to dad tomorrow?...Right?" It was barely a whisper, but James could still hear the concern in his brother's question.

"I _told_ you I would Ray." James gave his brother an exasperated little smile. "I _promise_. But I'm not going to take back anything I said. The ole man needed to hear it Ray, and so did you. I meant what I said."

Ray dropped his gaze to his lap and absently began to pick at the seam of his jeans. 

"Look at me Ray." As he spoke James reached up and cupping his brother's jaw in his hand raised the blonde's head to again make eye contact. "I should have stood up to dad a long time ago....I'm sorry that I didn't."

Ray began to shake his head but before he could attempt a reply James moved his hand up over his mouth. "Ssh...You listen to _me_. I hate that you got hurt today...but I am so damn proud of you that I could bust. You're a hell-of-a brave man, Ray Kowalski...and a damn fine cop. You made the right choice for yourself when you went to the academy. You had the nerve to make a hard decision and you've stuck with it. That takes guts....And what makes it so neat for me is that all that good stuff is wrapped up inta a guy who just happens to be my baby brother." As he spoke James lightly tapped his finger against his brother's chest. "You're a pretty special fella Ray...And I meant it when I said I love ya....No little ole shoutin' match would _ever_ change that. Do you understand what I'm sayin' Ray? I _love_ you...no matter what. You know that...Right?"

Fraser stood silently off to the side and watched as both brothers tried to blink back their tears. Ray's gaze bore into his brother's as if searching for the slightest hint of untruth in what had just been said. James met his inspection with an unwavering resolve. At last Ray momentarily dropped his gaze and then again looked into his brother's tear brightened eyes.

Although barely a whisper, what was said brought a happy smile to the face of James Kowalski.

"I know Jimmy...Love you too....Always have."

James leaned in and mindful of his little brother's injuries carefully enfolded him in a tender hug.

 

 

Three hours later Fraser and James were settled in the living room watching a documentary on forensic pathology. James had positioned himself so that with a slight lean to the right he could see into the bedroom and keep an eye on his sleeping brother. An hour ago Ray had given them both a mild scare when he had experienced a short coughing fit which had left him setting up in bed, confused and in pain. James had rushed in and after a moment to sooth his struggling brother had given him a couple sips of water and another round of pain medication. James then helped Ray onto his right side and slowly rubbed his back until the blond had drifted back to sleep. 

Fraser couldn't help but smile when James once again leaned to the right, checked on Ray, and then absently rubbed his knees. The earlier hug that the brothers had shared lasted longer than James' aging knees could easily handle. But even with the pain it was a hug that James had hated to end. It had been so long since he had felt that connected with his brother and it had felt so good to feel Ray slowly relax into the embrace. It wasn't until he could sense that Ray had nearly fallen asleep in his arms that he gave Fraser an almost panicked look and nodded towards the bed. Fraser gently helped Ray ease back on the bed, carefully pulled the covers up to his partner's chin, and then turned to help James to his feet. The Mountie could actually hear the older man's knees creak as he stood. 

James had hoped that his father would make an appearance, but when he had called the trailer to check on Matt and to tell Beth that he was going to spend the night with Ray, he had been informed that Damian had dropped them off and driven away. That had been over two hours ago. If he had been on his way to Ray's apartment he should have been here long before now. 

Nearly another hour had past when both men were surprised to hear a gentle rap on the apartment door. James shot the Mountie a questioning glance as Fraser rose to answer it. From his place on the couch James could hear the rough edge in his father's voice.

"Came to see Raymond."

"Ah.....Well Sir. Ray is asleep at he moment." 

"Don't care....came ta see my son." Damian dropped his head and with a determined set to his shoulders made his way past the Mountie. When Damian again raised his head he found himself face to face with James.

"Ben just told you dad...Ray is asleep." The determined gaze that met his made Damian pause. "If you came here to continue our argument you can just turn around and go back home. I said all to you that I wanted to say....and I meant every word of it."

"I never said that I was gonna wake him up." James was taken aback as he saw his father's shoulders slump. It seemed as if all the brash determination with which he had entered the apartment had suddenly deserted him. Damian Kowalski suddenly looked much older than his years. "I just....I want to see Raymond...I need ta see my son."

James studied his father closely. Damian's face was pale, and his eyes had the bloodshot, glassy look of someone who had been crying. James had never known his father to cry and the idea of this man, whom he had always considered so strong, in tears, almost frightened him. But even with that fear there was a little flicker of triumph to think that maybe, he had finally gotten through to his father the need, to at long last, make things right with Ray.

"Sure dad." Damian was surprised to feel James carefully lay his arm across his shoulders as he led him to the bedroom.

The lamp by Ray's bed had been left on low in case of another emergency. The two men quietly entered the room and made their way to the side of the bed. Damian stood for some time, just looking at the face of his youngest. The soft light from the lamp seemed to accentuate the pale features. Even in sleep the lines of exhaustion could be seen on his son's face. The white bandage on his cheek just seemed to make the bruise that showed around it's edges appear even darker.

Damian reached down and gently brushed a strand of hair off of Ray's forehead. "Geeze...He looks like crap."

James couldn't hide his smile when Damian shot him an apologetic glance. It was obvious that Damian had taken the earlier threat to heart.

"Fraser was tellin' me the kind of week Ray had. Mix that in with what happened today and I guess he has the right ta look like crap." James ran a hand across his tired eyes. "I'm just glad Fraser's around." 

"Humm....Fraser." Damian straightened his shoulders, gave one more glance towards his sleeping son, turned and left the bedroom. James, suddenly unsure of his father's intent quickly followed.

Damian made a beeline for the kitchen where the Mountie was preparing tea. Fraser turned as he heard Damian's approach.

"Benton...I owe you an apology for the way I acted this afternoon." Fraser could tell that this was not an easy thing for Ray's dad to admit.

"You were upset Sir. There is no apology needed." There was a lot that Fraser wanted to say to this man, but now was not the time.

"No excuse...You've been a good friend to Raymond, and I want to thank you for that." 

"No thanks are necessary. Being Ray's friend poses no difficulties, and the honor of his friendship is thanks enough." Though polite, and said with a slight smile the comment made it plain that Damian had some work cut out for him if he wanted to gain the Mountie's approval. 

Damian met the Mountie's even stare, gave a short nod and turning away slipped out of his jacket. The elder Kowalski moved to the kitchen table and carefully hung his jacket on the back of a chair. After a quick glance around the apartment, Damian turned back to the table, pulled a chair out, picked it up and returned to the bedroom. 

James who had watched the happenings in the kitchen gave Fraser a bewildered shrug, and turned to follow his father. 

When he entered the bedroom James found his father setting beside Ray's bed. James stood and watched for a moment as Damian reached over to smooth the blankets around his son. He then moved to his father's side and gently laid his hand on the older man's shoulder. 

"Dad? Ray will probably be sleeping for quite a while yet. Why don't you come on out in the living room, have some coffee and make yourself comfortable?" 

"I'm gonna be here when he wakes up." Damian glanced at James only briefly and then returned his attention to Ray. "Got some stuff that needs ta be said."

"I'm glad to hear it dad, but..." Damian turned towards his eldest and interrupted.

"How could you think that I don't love Raymond?" James was taken aback by the hurt that was reflected in his father's eyes. "How could you think something like that?"

"I know you love him dad...and I'm sorry we came to words today...but..."

"You talk about Raymond saving lives...and that's good, but don't you understand that it's _his_ life that's important to me?" It was suddenly obvious to James that there were some things that his father had to get off his chest. He gingerly eased himself down on the edge of the bed and gave his father his full attention.

"I know it sounds selfish son....but I don't care about the others...I mean...I do, but...when you start talking about Raymond's life?... I just ...To me it's somethin'...precious...Every year of his _life_ has been such a precious gift....And he wants ta risk it being a cop?" James was struck by the almost pleading expression in his father's eyes. "It seems like I have spent my whole life _preparing_ myself to lose him, and I don't like it...don't like it at all. You were old enough to remember what it was like. From the day he was born the doctors kept tellin' us we had to 'be prepared'. Three weeks premature ain't much to worry about now...but back then?....That first year he was sick so much....and every time we had to take him ta the hospital I never knew if he would ever make it back home again. But he got through it and I thought we had it made, but then when he was three he got pneumonia. Almost lost him then too...They gave the poor little shit so many shots ya couldn't pick him up without him screamin'...Ended up just layin' him on a blanket, and me and your mother would just grab the blanket by the corners when we had ta move him around. Same deal...Doctors kept tellin us we had to be prepared."

"How can ya prepare yourself ta lose a son? A son you watched fight for his life from day one." Though James could see the tears brimming in his father's eyes a proud smile suddenly creased the old man's face. "And boy did he fight. That first year?...He would end up in one a those wards with all the other little sick babies. Most of 'em layin' around all dull-eyed and quiet, but you let them nurses start pokin' around on Raymond and it didn't matter how sick he was, he would pucker that little face up and give 'em holy hell. And when he was back in there with pneumonia?...He might cry when me or your Mother was holdin' him, but you let one a those nurses start at him with a needle, and he would clamp that little jaw down tight and not make a sound until they were done. Wouldn't let them see him cry about it...but I tell ya what; if looks could kill, he would a wiped out the whole hospital wing. But he got through that too...and I'm thinkin'...he's gonna be alright now...but shit...that kid was an accident waitin' ta happen...his whole life.... You were so easy, Jimmy. What? One time? Remember? Ya cracked your wrist rollerskatin. You came home with an ice bag on your hand; we take ya to the doctor...piece a cake. With Raymond?... One thing after another" A slight chuckle bubbled up from Damian's chest. "Remember when he was eight and him and the O'Mally boys were prankin' around in that old warehouse....Crazy shit fell right through the floor." Damian gave his eldest son a questioning glance. "You're a dad now James....How would you feel if you got a call at work tellin' ya your boy is in the emergency room...and they can't tell ya how bad it is? Longest drive in the world...and then ya get there and ya can see him layin' there all covered in blood...Your heart wants to jump out a your chest. Then when ya do get to him and find he's just layin there countin' stitches and, charmin' everyone with those big blue eyes and that crooked little smile?...shit... ya wanna kill him yourself. He never started cryin' until he saw the look on his Mother's face and he _knew_ what would be waitin' for him when we got him home."

James gave his father a warm smile. Damian had always handled Ray's little tragedies with so much cool, that he had never realized what an impact they must have had on him. He was pleasantly surprised that his father seemed to remember all the little details. As James sat watching his father he saw the small smile disappear as Damian suddenly turned serious again.

"Then when he was thirteen...That was a nightmare. Remember? He caught a ride ta the movies with the neighbors and they end up getting' smacked by that truck. The Millers lost their boy that day...same age as Raymond...Thirteen...and he's killed instantly. Me and your Mother rush ta the hospital and one of the first things the doctor tells us is that we gotta _prepare_ ourselves. I could a hit him. Raymond didn't wake up for three days...They didn't know if he ever would, but I set there holdin' his hand and I could feel the fight still in him....I told Barbara not to worry...He was gonna get through this too....He was tough...and so determined. I was always scared ...but always so proud a him. Over and over I watched this kid fight his way back from the edge....I always thought...ya know...If he can do this...he can do anything. I figured with that kind of grit and determination there wasn't anything he couldn't do...If he just tried." 

James and his father locked eyes, as they both understood the significance of that phrase. Damian lowered his head in shame. After a quick swipe at his eyes Damian again looked up. 

"I should have known, James. He was _my_ son, and he had a problem, and I didn't know...I should a listened to you....But I guess I just didn't wanna hear it...and by then it had got ta be such a...I don't know....Habit?....Routine?... I don't know....I just thought...Ya know...I've seen him do so many amazing things just ta stay alive, and yet he can't even get through school without his mother lighten candles for him?....In my mind I guess it just didn't add up...and I...I was ashamed of him...I thought...ya know...What happened ta that kid that could do anything he put his mind to?....I was ashamed...of one of the bravest kids I ever met in my life....A kid who even with havin' ta put up with me hammerin' on him never gave up. " 

Damian reached over and carefully laid his hand on Ray's arm as he continued. "I should have known there was something wrong...I mean...I knew he wasn't stupid...I just..." Damian made another quick swipe at his eyes. "I ended up hurtin' him, and that's the last thing I ever wanted ta do. I had promised him all those years ago, when he was just that tiny little baby...so awful sick...That I would always be there ta help...That I'd do anything in my power to protect him and keep him safe...And then I end up hurtin' him." 

Ray suddenly shifted in his sleep. He slowly rolled over onto his back. Damian and James both held their breaths hoping that the pain that was reflected on Ray's face was not bad enough to wake him. A small groan and shuddering breath later, and the thin blond again seemed to settle into sleep. Ray's movement fully exposed the mottled bruising on his throat. It had darkened significantly since the afternoon.

"Sweet Jesus!" Damian instinctively moved to stroke the injury, but stopped himself just short of touching. "If I could get my hands on that guy right now...I'd...I just...." Damian sagged back down in his chair and looked at James in despair. "All I ever wanted ta do was make a good life for you boys and keep you safe. When Raymond decided to become a cop...I don't know...It just kinda took it out of my hands...I couldn't protect him anymore...And I guess I just couldn't handle the idea that someday I was gonna get a call from some hospital tellin' me that I should 'be prepared'...I just could not handle hearin' that again and know it was _his_ decision that put him there."

James reached over and gave his dad's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "But it _was_ hisdecision, and he's stuck by it, and he _is_ one hell of a good cop. You should have seen him today dad. Talk about bein' scared and proud at the same time. And ya gotta remember, this isn't the first time that what he did in the line of duty ended up saving lives, so ya gotta figure that he _still_ understands how precious life is...and he's _still_ out there fightin' for it. I know you don't wanna lose him...and with what I saw today...and him being a cop, it could happen....But what about those eight years you spent settin' down in Arizona. You wasted all that time bein' mad at him over something that may never happen. Either way you lose."

Damian met James' steady gaze for a very long time. At last a small smile quirked the corners of the older man's mouth. "How did you get so smart?"

"I think I got it from Mum." As James returned his father's smile he rose from the edge of the bed. The sudden movement caused Ray to again stir restlessly. A pained grimace creased his pale features as he began to weakly struggle against the restraint of the brace.

As James moved to comfort his brother Damian gently put his hand on his arm. "I might be a little rusty....but I got experience on my side."

James stood back and gave his father a warm, reassuring smile.

Damian stood and gently began to stroke the blond hair of his youngest son. He snaked his hand under the covers and gathered Ray's hand into his. 

"Shh...shh...shh...It's alright Raymond....Go back to sleep son.... Everything's gonna be okay....Your dad's here now...And this time he ain't goin' nowhere ...."

THE END

Winthru@kconline.com


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